


Give Up

by puppypopcornpizza



Series: Cullen and Aedra [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Arguing, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Dragon Age Quest: In Your Heart Shall Burn, F/M, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Hypothermia, Love Confessions, Major Character Injury, POV Cullen Rutherford, POV Inquisitor, Post-In Your Heart Shall Burn, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:37:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9639191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppypopcornpizza/pseuds/puppypopcornpizza





	1. I love her

“Word of your heroism has spread.” Cassandra smiled and placed a hand on Aedra’s shoulder.

Aedra wanted to cry out in relief, these past few months have been difficult for everyone. There were loses, friendships were gained, alliances were formed, she even considered a few members of the Inquisition her friend – something she never thought would happen, considering how she ended up as the Herald.

“You know how many were involved. Some odd luck put me at the center..” Aedra looked to Cassandra with a smile and the other woman returned it.

Cassandra chuckled, “A strange kind of luck, indeed. I am not sure if we need more or less.”

“The immediate danger is gone. For some, so is the necessity of this alliance.” Cassandra began, “We must be wary, the Inquisition will need new focus.”

There was a faint sound of a bell ringing and Aedra turned to find the source, she heard Cassandra curse under her breath and was confused, until…

“Forces approaching, to arms!”

Aedra’s gaze shot to Cullen as he ran to the gates. Forces? Were the Templars attempting a siege? Makers breath, there wasn’t enough time to evacuate Haven.

“Herald, we must get to the gates!” Cassandra’s voice snapped Aedra from her thoughts.

“Yes, of course. Let’s go.”

And with that, the two made a run to the gates.

* * *

Once they arrived at the gates, Aedra saw Cullen and Josephine standing at the top of the stairs with worried expressions on their faces as they discussed something.

“Cullen?” Cassandra questioned once they were in earshot.

Aedra locked eyes with Cullen for a moment before he began explaining what was happening to Cassandra. What was that? Is was almost as if he were pleading for her to do something with his eyes.

“Under what banner?” Aedra’s attention snapped to Josephine then back to Cullen.

“None.” She heard him say. None? How could it be none? At least if there were a banner they’d know who they’d be dealing with.

Aedra looked to the gates and saw light coming from beneath them. Were they here already? Creators, she felt like she didn’t have a clue what to do.

She heard Josephine and Cullen chatter behind her as she stalked to the gates with a lightning spell ready, glad that she had remembered to grab her staff while making her way here.

The gates rattled and there was a flash of light behind them, Aedra was just about to strike before a voice came from the other side.

“I can’t come in unless you open!” She clenched her fist with the spell still charging and felt Cullen walk up next to her. She quickly made her way to the gates and pushed them open, once they were open she found a Templar standing there. She gasped and almost struck him with lightning before he fell and behind him, stood a boy with a rather large hat.

“I’m Cole.” The boy began, “I came to warn you. To help.”

“To help?” Aedra’s tone was confused and the boy only continued speaking.

“People are coming to hurt you.” He paused for a moment. “You probably already know that.”

“W-what?” Aedra blinked at the boy. Makers breath, this was all happening so fast she felt like she was lost. “What’s going on?”

“The Templars come to kill you.” She widened her eyes at the boy and a bitter laugh escaped her.

“Templars try to kill me every day, why do they think they’ll succeed now?”

“Templars?” Cullen’s voice caused Aedra to jump, he came up to the boy and protectively stood in front of her. “Is this the Order’s response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?”

Aedra half listened as Cole spoke with Cullen, her focus on something in the distance.

“There.” Cole pointed in the direction she was looking, a man with heavy armour that looked as if he were corrupted with red lyrium stood there while another man walked up behind him.

_Creators, that was no man._

“I know that man… but this Elder One…” Cullen mused.

“He’s very angry that you took his mages.” Aedra could barely hear Cole over how loudly her heart was beating.

She laughed bitterly, “You don’t say, I thought he came for a fancy Templar _brunch_.”

“Cullen?” Aedra raised her voice, slightly louder that she wanted to. “Give me a plan, something!”

Aedra listened as Cullen explained that they should find a way to control the battle, that Haven was no fortress and that she needed to hit the force. He also gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her on the shoulder.

“Be careful, I do not doubt that you aren’t capable but…” He swallowed and looked to the ground as he began to whisper. “Please come back to me.”

She was just about to answer him but he pulled away and began rallying the mages. She watched him as he unsheathed his sword and began telling them about Samson. Did he mean that? Did he really want her to come back to him?

_Well obviously, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have said it._

But… maker, the thought of her not seeing Cullen again, that only made her want to fight harder.

“… With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!” She listened as the mages cheered once Cullen was done speaking, closing her eyes and breathing deeply as she tightly gripped her staff.

“Incoming! Protect the trebuchet!”

* * *

Aedra watched as the mountain collapsed on most of the Templars. She sighed and gave a breathless laugh as she turned to Iron Bull, Dorian, and Cassandra behind her.

“We did–” Cassandra was cut off by a loud screeching sound followed by a ball of fire hurling towards the trebuchet.

“Aedra! MOVE!” She heard Dorian shout too late, and suddenly everything started spinning. She grunted as her back hit the ground and she felt a sharp pain in her chest, something was definitely bruised or broken.

“Herald!” Aedra heard Cassandra shout, or was it Dorian? She tried to open her eyes to see but everything went black in that moment.

* * *

_“Herald! Help me with this door!”_

* * *

_“I can’t get out, I’m stuck!”_

* * *

_“Herald!”_

* * *

Aedra groaned and felt an arm wrap around her waist. That scent… that scent was familiar. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on something, anything. The room was dark and she heard coughing, crying?

Fuck, the cries for help!

She looked to the person holding her, Cullen was leading her inside of the Chantry. She used all of her strength to stop but only stumbled.

“Cull- Cullen, stop.” She half mumbled and tried to hold onto his arm.

“You’re injured, you need to be checked by a healer.” He paused for a moment. “Or by Dorian, actually.”

“No. No, the people.” She breathed, gripping his arm tighter. “There were cries for help, I have to go back and save them.”

“They’re okay, safe.” His voice was gentle and she looked at his eyes, they were just as gentle. She wished she could just get lost in those eyes.

“The dragon, archdemon. I need to stop it.” Cullen lead her to a chair and she sat down, grunting when she tried to move her torso.

She looked across the room and saw Chancellor Roderick with the odd boy, Cole? He looked injured and struggled to speak back to Cole, he looked at her like he was sorry, like he regretted something.

She heard a scream outside and instantly shot up, causing pain to shoot through her chest and for her to cry out.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” She cursed to herself. She needed this pain gone, she needed to be out there helping people.

She brought a hand to where the pain was the worst and began using her magic to heal herself, Cullen was busy talking to Cole so he didn’t see what she was doing. He didn’t need more worries, especially about her, he had enough problems of his own.

She let out a shaky breath as she felt the magic begin to work its way to the source of the injury, she definitely broke a rib or two. She had to bite her hand to keep her from crying out in pain, to avoid attention.

“Aedra!” Dorian’s voice echoed throughout the large hall, she quickly pulled her hand away from her chest and looked up at him with a weak smile.

“Heeeeey, Dorian. I’m fine, see?” She stood and twisted her torso, the pain was still there but it was dulled.

He looked at her skeptically, he pressed his thumbs into her ribs and felt for a broken bone. He also looked at her face and complained that she had a bad cut on her lower lip that would scar.

“You plummeted off a trebuchet that was blown up by a dragon, excuse me for being at least a _little_ bit worried!” She wanted to laugh at his sarcastic tone but she was sure she’d receive a death glare from him.

“Please, it’s going to take more than a dragon to–”

“What are you doing up?” She turned to find Cullen making a beeline towards her and Dorian. “You were all but passed out, I had to drag you in here. You’re not going back out there!” His voice had raised and was more of a plea than a command.

“The Elder One, I need to face him.”

“You’re injured!”

“I’m fine.”

“Please.”

They locked eyes and she saw something familiar, the same expression he had when they were at the gates earlier that evening. He was begging her.

The sad thing was she knew he’d go to the ends of Thedas for her, she didn’t want him too but she knew he would. She needed him to be safe, she didn’t want him to injure or kill himself for her, he deserved more.

 _She needed him to not care about her_.

“Why do you care so much?” She snapped.

He blinked, “What?”

“Why do you care? Why do you care if I get injured or not? You’ve never shown interest in the past, so why do you suddenly care now?”

“Because–” _Because I think I’m falling for you._ “you’re the Herald, you are a valuable part of the Inquisition.”  

“Is that all I am?” A hint of annoyance in her tone. “Just because I have this _thing_ , I’m valuable?” She showed him her palm, the glow showing under her gloves.

“No! You’re… “ _You’re more than that, you mean everything to me._

“I suppose that’s my answer.” She pushed past him and made her way to the large doors to retrieve her staff, stopping by Roderick instead of making her way back to Cullen.

_You caused this, he hates you now._

“How are you doing, Roderick?”

“I was stabbed by a Templar, how do you think I am.”

“Ah, even with a stab wound you’re still the sarcastic chancellor we all love.” She joked, which earned a glare from the man.

“I’ve seen an Archdemon.” Cole spoke up next to Roderick. “I was in the Fade, but it looked like that.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed, I was slightly busy plummeting off a trebuchet to notice what it looked like.” Aedra grinned when she earned another glare from Roderick and a scoff from who she assumed was Cullen behind her.

“Well, it’s cut a path for that army.” Cullen came up next to her. “They’ll kill everyone in Haven!”

Cole looked to Aedra and she felt a chill run down her spine.

“The Elder One doesn’t care about the village. He only wants the Herald.” She took a step back and tried to comprehend what Cole had just said to her. Maybe she should give herself to him? She obviously had no place here…

That would be selfish, wouldn’t it? To just give up so soon?

“If… If it will save everyone, he can have me.” She could actually _feel_ Cullen staring a hole through her.

“It won’t.” Cole responded. “He wants to kill you. No one else matters, but he’ll crush them, kill them anyway. I don’t like him.”

“You don’t like…?” The annoyance in Cullen’s tone had risen since their small argument. “Aedra– _Herald_ , there are no tactics to make this survivable and you’re still injured.” She glared at him and he only continued.

“The only thing that stopped them was the avalanche. We could turn the remaining trebuchets, cause one last slide.”

“I could.” Aedra interjected.

“But…” She paused. “We’re overrun. To hit the enemy… we’d bury Haven.”

He didn’t answer immediately, first taking in a deep breath.

“We’re dying, but we can decide how. Many don’t get that choice.”

They locked eyes for a second before she looked away. She began this as a facade to keep him away from her and so he would be safe, but now she was actually frustrated with him.

_Creators, she wanted this to be over already._

“Yes, that.” Her attention snapped to Cole. “Chancellor Roderick can help. He wants to say it before he dies.”

Both Cullen and Aedra looked to Roderick, it looked like it was a challenge for him to speak.

“There is a path. You wouldn’t know it unless you’d made the Summer Pilgrimage. As I have.” He rasped and coughed.

“The people can escape.” He stood from the chair and Aedra was about to tell him to sit back down, but he continued. “She must have shown me, Andraste must have shown me so I could… tell you.”

“What are you on about, Roderick?” Aedra raised a brow at the man.

“It was whim that I walked the path. I did not mean to start – it was overgrown.” He explained.

“Now, with so many in the Conclave dead, to be the only one who remembers… I don’t know, Herald.”

“If this simple memory could save us, it could be more than mere accident. _You_ could be more.”

Aedra looked away from Roderick and squeezed her eyes shut.

_Just be over, please be over. Let me give up._

“What about it, Cullen?” She turned to Cullen. “Will it work?”

“You’re injured, you can’t–”

“ _Will it work?_ ” She repeated.

“Possibly.” He began after a moment of silence. “ _If_ he shows us the path.” He paused and spoke up again, slowly.

“But what of your escape?”

She dropped her gaze to the floor slowly. She had thought about this, about what would happen if she were in a situation where she would need to escape.

“I… I’ll think of something.”

He put a hand on her shoulder and she instantly felt grounded again. “Be careful. I understand you’re angry but… remember what I told you by the gates.”

_Please come back to me._

“I will.” She whispered. Fuck! She couldn’t even stay angry with him or make him angry with her.

He gave her shoulder a squeeze and told her to look for a burning arrow as the signal that everyone was at a safe distance, before he left to speak with the soldiers in the Chantry. Cole put Roderick’s arm over his shoulders to assist him with walking, she was just about to leave before she heard Roderick speak again.

“Herald… if you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this. I pray for you.”

She didn’t know what to say, what could she say? She gave him a slight bow of her head as he walked off with Cole.

“You ready, Boss?” She heard Bull talk from behind her, he stood there along with Dorian, and Cassandra. All there looked tired and drained, their clothes and armor were full of scratches and tears and there was blood splattered over them, though not on Dorian’s.

“Are you?” She questioned him in return, earning a chuckle.

“Well I dunno, I’m not the one that was _blown off a trebuchet_.”

She chuckled, “Right, right.”

She turned around and pulled open the large doors with the help of Bull. As soon as they were out, they had Templars running at them from most directions. She stood in a battle stance and readied her magic as they approached. Though her mind kept wandering back to what had happened just before they closed the doors and she and Dorian sealed them with magic.

She was sure she heard Cullen say “I love her.”


	2. I think I love you

Aedra grunted as she turned the crank of the trebuchet, the pain in her chest had returned and a Templar had slashed her across her jaw with his sword, giving her a deep cut that would probably scar.

 _Just add it to the collection_ , she thought.

The horrid screech sounded once more and Aedra looked to the sky to see a dark figure flying towards them. She started backing away from the trebuchet and shouted for them to move, she stayed behind and watched as Iron Bull, Dorian, and Cassandra ran towards the lake. Luckily, none of them looked back. She needed to face this thing. 

 _Rather me than them_.

She turned around and a blast of fire pushed her off her feet. Fuck! She was so tired of this, she just wanted it to be over. The pain in her chest had gotten worse and a headache had now formed as well, she felt as if her whole body was in pain.

_Give up, just give up._

_No! You didn’t come this far to give up._

Cullen… maker, she just wanted him to hold her.

She looked to her side and saw a figure approaching from the fire, she grunted as she got to her feet. Maybe this mysterious figure was nice?

_Highly unlikely._

As the figure neared she began to notice the Red Lyrium sticking out of his skin. Was he some kind of darkspawn? Did darkspawn have pieces of Red Lyrium in their skin?

The dragon landed behind her and she felt her body go stiff, the heat of its breath on her back made her hands tremble but she tried to ignore it. This creature could kill her right now, why wasn’t it?

“Enough!” The darkspawn put his hands out and she felt the ground shake slightly.

_Don’t give up._

“Pretender.” The darkspawn began, his voice was rough and only added to the fear of the dragon behind her.

_You can’t be scared now._

“You toy with forces beyond your ken, no more.”

_I’m not scared._

“Whatever you are, I’m not afraid!”

The darkspawn chuckled, “Words mortals often hurl at the darkness. Once they were mine. They are always lies.”

“Know me,” It began walking towards her. “know what you have pretended to be.”

It stopped walking and she saw a sneer had appeared on his lips. “Exalt The Elder One! The _will_ that is Corypheus!” He pointed at her. “You will kneel.”

“What do you want? Why are you doing this?” She shouted.

“I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.” A red glow appeared in Corypheus’ hand and Aedra felt the Anchor flare up. It began stinging and she gripped her arm with her other hand. She looked to the orb in Corypheus’ other hand, it looked elven. Was it elven?

Pain shot through her arm the longer he used his magic to attempt to remove the Anchor. She wanted to cry out, she wanted to give up.

 _No_.

“It is your fault, ‘Herald.’ You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose.” What was he talking about? What ritual?

The pain began to worsen and Aedra gripped her arm tighter. Corypheus made a gesture that caused the pain to become almost unbearable.

_Keep fighting._

“I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as ‘touched,’ what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.” Was he talking about the Fade?

He made another gesture and Aedra fell to her knees. _Keep going._

“And you used the Anchor to undo my work. The gall!” She clenched her fist and bit her lower lip as a tear escaped her eye.

“What is this thing meant to do?” She questioned.

“It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I would always come for it.” He walked to her and lifted her into the air by her hand, she snarled at him and his face remained the same.

“I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the empire _in person._ ” What was he talking about? Maker, she wished she could wrap her head around what he was saying but the pain made it damn near impossible.

“I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No more.”

“I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world.”

“Beg that I succeed. For I have seen the throne of the gods, and _it was empty._ ”  The throne? Was he talking about the Maker?

He hurled her at the trebuchet and she cried out in pain as her back made contact with it. _Damn it! You didn’t heal yourself properly!_ She tried to stand and fell against the trebuchet.

“The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.” She glanced at a sword on the ground and quickly picked it up. She glanced at the mountains then back at Corypheus. Where is that signal?

“So be it. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation – _and god_ – it requires.” She glanced at the mountains again and saw the flame in the air.

_Here we go._

“And you. I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You _must_ die.” She looked to her side and saw the crank of the trebuchet.

She smirked at him and spoke with a humorous tone, “You expect me to fight but that’s not why I kept you talking.”

She moved away from the crank and gripped the sword tighter.

“Enjoy your victory, here’s your prize!” She used all of the strength she had in her to kick the crank, she dropped the sword and began running, not even glancing behind her for a moment.

She heard the boulder make contact with the mountain, and the screech of the dragon.

_Run. Just run._

She tripped over something and it sent her falling into a hole between wooden boards, a sharp pain elicited in her stomach. She had just realised where she was and what was happening, when her back hit the ground and she felt her conscious fading.

_Give up._

* * *

“Where is she? It’s been hours, she should be here by now.” He paced in front of Cassandra. He would have left to search for her but he was needed here, assisting people that were injured.

Excuses! He shouldn’t have let her go, he should have stayed with her and gone with her.

“I don’t know, Cullen.” Cassandra sighed and shook her head as she looked to the ground.

“I told you, we should have sent out a search party hours ago!” His voice raised slightly. “And you were with her, you should have kept her safer. Now she’s out there somewhere, just…” He ran a hand through his hair, normally the cold of the mountains would calm him but now… It just made him more stressed. Aedra was out there – probably injured, in the cold. And it looked as if a snowstorm had appeared as well.

Cassandra watched him with a sympathetic gaze. “I know you care for her dearly, but she will be okay. The woman is resourceful.”

He wanted to believe her words, but he knew that even Aedra couldn’t find a way around this.

He didn’t speak for several moments, only contemplating if what he was about to do was a good idea.

“I’m going to go find her.” He picked his sword up from the table and made his way to the direction they came from.

“What? Cullen, you can’t go alone.” She walked aside him.

“I am, you’re more than welcome to come along.”

She stopped and he feared she would scream at him for being so stupid, but she nodded her head and continued walking with him.

“Let us go find her.”

* * *

Aedra opened her eyes and stared at the hole that she had fallen through. She was careful to not move too quickly in the event that she had broken anything, so she very slowly moved her fingers and toes, then her limbs.

Nothing felt broken so she slowly sat up but cried out when she felt the same sharp pain in her stomach that she felt when she was falling. She looked at her hand and found that her glove was soaked with blood. Her blood.

“Shit. That’s bad.” She pressed her other hand to her stomach and looked at her hand.

“Okay, I’m bleeding. I am bleeding a lot.” She put her head back on the ground as she thought of a plan. If she tried healing herself she’d still have whatever had cut her inside of her, but if she didn’t she could lose a lot of blood and faint again.

“Fuck.” She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. It would be so much easier if she just gave up, just laid there until she died. But then Cullen’s words rang in her head.

“ _Come back to me._ ” She whispered.

She cried out again as she tried to stand, pressing her hand to her abdomen. Once she was up, she began to look for a way out, a way to save herself.

_She would come back to him._

* * *

Cullen breathed heavily as he made his way up the mountain, his fingers were beginning to numb and so were his toes. _Where was she?_

“I think we should go back, there isn’t any sign of her.” He heard Cassandra say next to him. He didn’t want to give up, he couldn’t. She was out there and he needed to find her.

“You can go, I’ll keep looking.”

“We have been out here for hours, you need rest.” He felt her hand on his forearm.

“I have to find her, she might be hurt.”

“She will turn up, I know it.”

He looked at her then back at the mountains. It did seem hopeless, maybe she wasn’t even alive and they were just wasting their time.

No, she was out there. He _would_ find her.

“Just… a few more minutes? Maybe we come across something.” She waited a moment before answering him.

“Alright.”

* * *

“Embers. Recent?” Aedra shivered as she made her way up the mountain, her hand still pressed firmly to her wound.

The bleeding had stopped a while back with the help of her magic, she used a spell she learned from the Keeper. It stopped the bleeding but not the pain, at least the cold helped numb that.

She continued her way up the mountain, stopping a few times when she got too tired or the pain had returned. To add to the pain in her stomach and chest, the Anchor had also refused to stop flaring up, there was pain in her hand too but it was nothing compared to her other injuries.

She glanced up and saw light, could it be them? Maker, please let it be them.

* * *

Cullen sighed heavily as he stood in the snow and tried to find her, a figure, _anything_. They had returned to the camp a few hours ago but Cullen could barely sit still, so he waited for Cassandra and they made their ways back to the mountain, assisted by an Inquisition soldier.

There was a path where two mountains split and he kept his gaze on that area, he assumed it lead to where she was.

 _Maker, he hoped_.

* * *

Aedra had gotten to the top of the mountain and saw that it was them, she wanted to cry out in relief.

She glanced around when she heard voices, Cullen? Cassandra?

“There! It’s her!” She heard Cullen shout, she wanted to run up to him, to hug him, but all she could do was fall to her knees.

“Thank the Maker!” She heard Cassandra shout. She wanted to say something, anything. Tell them that she was fine… she wasn’t fine.

She felt like she would fall over but Cullen caught her and pulled her into his arms for a hug, she hissed in pain and he instantly pulled away with a worried expression.

“Makers breath, you’re bleeding.” He whispered as he saw the blood over her glove and fingers.

“I-it’s fine.” Was all she could manage to say before she felt her conscious fade.

“No! Stay with me.” He placed his hand on her cheek and made her look at him. She could just get lost in those eyes.

“Keep your eyes open, okay? Please, don’t close them.” He quickly shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders before gently pulling her into his arms and picking her up, making his way down the mountain. She heard him say something to the soldier with them about blankets and a healer, and something else to Cassandra.

“You know.” She whispered and saw him gaze down at her. “I realized something when I was out there.”

“What’s that?”

“I…” Her voice faltered and he pleaded for her to stay awake.

“Keep talking, tell me what you realized.”

“I think I love you.” Her words caused him to come to a halt.

“Y-you do?” He stuttered. This had to be the hypothermia talking… right?

“I argued with you earlier because…” She struggled to speak. “Because I didn’t… want you hurt. I wanted… you safe.”

“I…” He swallowed. What if this was the last time he could tell her this? What if he didn’t have a chance later on?

“I think I love you too.”

And that was the last thing she heard before she blacked out again.

* * *

Aedra groaned softly as she opened her eyes and tried to sit up, but felt a hand push her back down.

“You need rest, stay down.” An unfamiliar voice spoke and she looked at the face to try and determine who it was. She watched as pillows were put behind her so she could sit up.

“W-who are you?” Her throat hurt and her voice was croaky.

“Do you know who you are? How you ended up here?” It was a woman, elderly/ She had lines on her face that no doubt told a story and her brown hair was beginning to grey. Her face was a friendly one, though.

“I’m Aedra Lavellan. I ended up here when… the Commander found me after I fell in a hole and was injured.” She tried to recall what had happened.

“Herald, your injury…” The woman took a deep breath. “It left you barren.”

Aedra widened her eyes. She couldn’t have children? She never wanted to, the thought never crossed her mind, but at least she knew she could… Creators, everything had just been one terrible thing after the other.

“Thank you for telling me.” She swallowed.

“I’m sorry.” There was sorrow in the woman’s eyes.

“It’s fine, really. Children had never really crossed my mind so it isn’t important.”

The woman understood and dropped the subject. She then went on to explain her injuries and that she was required to take it easy for the next few weeks.

“Um, do you know where the commander is?”

A smile appeared on the woman’s lips. “Ah, the commander. He’s come in here every day he found you. You’ve found a good one, Herald.”

Aedra felt her cheeks begin to heat at the woman’s words.

“I’ll bring him in straight away, Herald.”

“Please.” Aedra called to her. “Call me Aedra.”

“As you wish, Aedra.”

Aedra nervously picked at a piece of skin on her finger. She wanted to see him so much, but what if he didn’t? What if he thought of her as a burden?

No, that couldn’t be right.

She saw the entrance of the tent move and she contemplated pretending to be asleep… or dead.

_Maker, why was she so nervous?_

“Hi.” She glanced at Cullen and saw that he wasn’t wearing any of the top half of his armour, only an off-white tunic.

“She smiled at him as he approached, fearing her voice would betray her.

“Are you–” He cut himself off and started again. Aedra also noticed that he seemed rather… nervous.

“How are you?”

“Fine? I mean, I was just told that I can’t have children so I’m slightly in shock.” She looked down at her hands.

“I’m so sorry.” There was pain in his voice, she could hear that.

They fell into a silence and Aedra watched as Cullen sat down on the chair next to the bed.

“What… What happened when you found me?”

He glanced at her and she could almost see a small smile on his lips for a moment. Why was he smiling?

“You don’t remember?”

“I remember you finding me then… nothing.”

“You…” He trailed off as he tried to find the words. “I tried to keep you awake; there was a lot of blood; I wrapped you in my coat – which you’re still wearing, by the way.” She furrowed her brows and looked down at her shoulders. How hadn’t she notice the feathers on her shoulders?

“And?” She questioned.

“You…” You told me you loved me. “Nothing more, that was it.”

“Oh.” They fell back into a silence. Aedra occasionally stole glances at Cullen, that blasted smile was still on his lips! Why was it there?

“Something making you happy?” She couldn’t help but smile herself.

“No! Um…” His cheeks suddenly turned pink and she had to force herself to look away from him.

“You’re safe, that’s why.” He finally answered her and she felt the heat return to her cheeks as well. He really did care.

“Commander!” A scout popped his head through the tent flaps. “I’m very sorry to disturb you and the Herald but Lady Josephine requires your help.”

“With what?” Cullen stood from the chair.

“Unsure, she only said to find you.” The scout turned his head to Aedra and greeted her and wished her a fast recovery, she thanked him before he left.

Cullen turned back to her with an apologetic look in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be back straight away.” 

She smiled, “We could play chess? I remember you telling me about how it calmed you.”

“It’s actually the opposite, but I’ll take you up on that offer. Chess when we return.” He smirked at her before making his way out of the tent.

“Oh, and Cullen?” She called before he left.

“Yes?”

“I still think I love you.” His eyes widened and a small smile appeared on his lips.

“I still think I love you too.”


End file.
